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All
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Tracking down a wedding officiant can be a little intimidating. Perhaps you remember a time when it was hard to get one if you weren't among the "regularly churched"! But times have changed, and hiring an officiant for your wedding is now standard procedure.
Basically,
brides-to-be find themselves in one of two camps: Either they have a
regular church and a favorite minister, who might be a longstanding
family friend, or they need to find one through word-of-mouth or web
sites. The
latter situation often costs more, but allows for a lot of flexibility.
Depending on your tastes and faiths, you can often find a judge, a
Catholic priest to marry you outdoors, a Rabbi to officiate at an
interfaith wedding, a non-denominational officiant who encourages you to
write your own vows, and so on. How
to find officiants A
good national directory for finding Catholic officiants is www.rentapriest.com.
If
you're stuck for ideas, try asking vendors. Your florist or caterer is
probably well acquainted with local options. Another
excellent way to find officiants is to visit a large wedding forum, like
The Knot, and post on boards for your local geographic area. You can
often get an idea of the flavor, preparedness, flexibility and even
appearance of a popular local officiant. When
should you book an officiant? Some
officiants book early. If you're really particular about whom you want
to do the service and can't budge on the date, try to book more than six
months in advance. Some couples book a year ahead. How
much do officiants charge? A
minister at your own church may not charge anything at all, but may
accept donations. In that case, a $100-200 donation is about average.
Ask the minister yourself if there's any doubt. An
officiant you engage yourself will set his or her own rates. Rates
generally range from $250-600, but some well-known officiants may charge
more. Do
we send an invitation? By custom, you invite your officiant to your rehearsal dinner as a guest. You also invite the officiant and his or her spouse to your reception with a formal invitation, just like other guests. Unless the officiant is an old family friend, he or she may decline to stay, but an invitation is proper. You aren't expected to invite the officiant's children.
Can
you use a friend as an officiant? It's
done all the time, and can make weddings very personal. A father,
mother, or the friend who introduced you can make for an amazing event.
Be sure to pick someone comfortable speaking in front of large crowds,
and brush up on your state's laws and licensing requirements. Here's a
good site to begin your research: www.northernway.org/marriagelaws.html
Your
chosen friend or family member can become ordained "instantly and
online" at the Do
I meet with the officiant before or after booking, and what should I
expect at the meeting? Ideally,
an officiant will allow a "getting to know you" meeting before
you book them, though not all will. Most at least offer telephone
interviews, which helps you see how they fit with your personal style. During
your first meeting, the officiant will typically tell you about his or
her background, discuss the logistics, bring up any premarital
counseling requirements, ask some questions about your personal history,
and show you a sample ceremony script. This is a good time to discuss
special unification ceremonies or personal vows, bring up interfaith
issues, and learn whether your officiant plans to attend your rehearsal.
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